The Dark Place

Overwhelmed

by RDC

Blaring music coming from 

the speakers

Voices heard throughout the hall

And it is the fast and hard pounding 

of my heart

that is the loudest of them all

So many dark thoughts

Are being entertained in my mind

But I can’t control or stop them

A solution I cannot find

Pray…I did that

Cry… I did that too

Sometimes I wonder if all 

this heartache

Is worth going through

I feel so hopeless

like no one cares

I’m not sure how much longer

this burden I can bear

The above poem, sent in by RDC, speaks of that dark place you experience when you have truly had enough.

God, Multiverse, Ancestors…I just can’t take any more

But here it comes - The ‘more’ you couldn’t take. 

No, not this. This will surely be the end of me. The end of it all. 

It’s just one more thing on a heaping pile of things that puts you over the edge to think you will not survive.

So here you are. Falling off the edge and dangling in limbo, fire burning underneath. 

Now this is too much…

How will I get through this?

Will I get through this?

Do I even want to go on?

Your breathing becomes rapid and you are empty of tears. You feel drained. There’s no more fight left. 

Inhaling…Exhaling…

But yet, you breathe, even without permission.

Relief, where are you? 

But only echoes of nothingness fill the air. Feelings like disappearing take over because you just can’t do anymore.

Inhaling…Exhaling…

You know what? At this moment, be sad. Be angry. Be frustrated. Clench your fist if you must. Grab that pillow, lean in, and let that scream out.

Inhaling…Exhaling…

And if the tears flow, let them flow until they empty you of the strain and comfort you. 

Just lay there if you’re inclined to do so. Remain in the stillness that envelopes you in this time. 

Inhaling…Exhaling…

When these feelings are there, face them, accept them. Honor this very human part of you.  It doesn’t make you weak or less than but rather just the opposite.  Facing these moments and allowing your being to run its course naturally can prevent blow-ups or underlying rage and longer states of depression. 

But now what? What to do next?

Unfortunately, the answer may not come at this moment. But this post is about being where you are. Accepting the state that you’re in. And breathing throughout. As human beings, we will feel a range of emotions, and we must accept these states if we’re to overcome them.  Because ignoring these feelings will cause them to underline everything that we do, think, and feel. 

Inhaling…Exhaling…

You’re still breathing. And this may be the only thing you can do at this moment.